Nicole Acknowledges Fertility Waters (of Doom)

Nicole Kidman blames…or I suppose celebrates the birth of her child all because of Australia’s water. Not only did she drink it, she swam in it.

The 41-year-old Aussie, who gave birth to daughter Sunday Rose in July, said she and six other women who swam in the waters of a small Outback town during production of the epic romance “Australia” fell pregnant.

As a safety precaution, the alleged fertilty waters have been marked off-limits to all hot celebrities and mentally disabled until further notice. This might be a good time to investigate whether or not the unusually high numbers of pregnancies in Hollywood have any connection with this gift from Satan. All other people who may feel they have been infected have been ordered to be kicked repeatedly in the stomach by a kangaroo to reverse effects. We’ll keep you posted as more elements of the story are revealed.

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