Nicole Acknowledges Fertility Waters (of Doom)

Nicole Kidman blames…or I suppose celebrates the birth of her child all because of Australia’s water. Not only did she drink it, she swam in it.

The 41-year-old Aussie, who gave birth to daughter Sunday Rose in July, said she and six other women who swam in the waters of a small Outback town during production of the epic romance “Australia” fell pregnant.

As a safety precaution, the alleged fertilty waters have been marked off-limits to all hot celebrities and mentally disabled until further notice. This might be a good time to investigate whether or not the unusually high numbers of pregnancies in Hollywood have any connection with this gift from Satan. All other people who may feel they have been infected have been ordered to be kicked repeatedly in the stomach by a kangaroo to reverse effects. We’ll keep you posted as more elements of the story are revealed.

Damn I’m Old: Celebrity Birthdays

These celebrities were born on June 20:

Nicole Kidman is 41.
John Goodman is 56.
Lional Richie is 59.
John Mahoney is 68.
Micahel Anthony is 54.
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin from Superbad) is 19.

Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman battling over kids?

Katie Holmes revealed in an interview that Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise’s adopted kids called her mom.

According to Holmes: “His first two children are incredible, really smart and kind. They call me ‘Mom’.”

Recently, Kidman revealed that the kids no longer “call me Mummy.”

“It’s Mum or sometimes Nicole. I’m like, ‘Hey!’” she said.

She must be pissed!

Nicole Kidman Dead…Again

What is up with Nicole Kidman’s career these days? She can’t seem to beg, borrow or steal a decent movie to star in no matter how hard she tries.

Her latest on-screen venture, “The Golden Compass,” has been declared a serious box office flop. Her other recent flicks - ”The Invasion”, “Betwitched,” “Birth” and “The Stepford Wives” - didn’t fare much better among movie goers.

Did ex-husband, Tom Cruise, put some kind of weird Scientology hex on Nicole after their divorce in 2001?

Her only major screen credits since their split are ”Moulin Rouge”, “The Hours” and “Cold Mountain.” Anything she’s done since has been a huge box office disapointment.

Word is that she’s passing on a lot of scripts so that she can apparently waste away into nothingness while standing in the shadow of her current husband, Keith Urban, as he undertakes his Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy World tour.

Nicole’s been quoted as saying, “No red carpet, no pressure for me. I’m not doing a show. I’m just there as a wife and I take some photographs.”

What a nice politically-correct statement for an Academy Award winning actress to make when she’s been dubbed box office poison from here to Australia.