9/24/2008

Heather Mills Donates One Million to Recruit Vegan Children Army

For a change, a vegan extended their love out past their furry comrades towards the human race. Heather Mills donated one million dollars worth of vegan meats towards a childrens’ barbecue– and I note that this must be one of her many acts soon to come in order to develop a race of super vegans.

“My plan is to get healthy food out to kids and to get it in the service industry, get it in retail, make a fast-food chain around the world with healthy options and just keep doing my work behind the scenes,” Mills, 40, told PEOPLE Sunday.

Just in case you were wondering, most the kids that were expected to attend had cancelled to go to a more awesome party featuring whole pigs roasting over a pit and a special event where you got to choose and shoot your own diseased looking hormone pumped cow. It might have been a good thing too, since we all know that even buying the crappiest vegan food with one mil will get you about ten boca burgers and a salad–suitable diet a model and a porn star would suggest.

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