George Clooney is smooth

George Clooney had an interesting story about his experience during the Britney Spears custody battle.

“I’d gone upstairs, and I came out and I’m in a robe. All of the sudden I see all this s–t going on.

“I have a guest house where my assistant sometimes is, and I think, someone has broken out of prison and like escaped, because it’s a chase scene. It’s something out of Die Hard.

“I get my baseball bat, which is what you always get in every film – I actually think Clive Owen said, ‘Get a baseball bat’ – and I called up my assistant, who I thought was in the guest house, and I said, ‘Are you OK?’

“And she’s like, ‘Yes.’

“And I said, ‘Look, if there’s someone in the place, say the word stonehenge.’

“And she’s like, ‘What the f–k are you talking about? I’m in my apartment.’

“I go, ‘You’re not in the guesthouse?’

“‘No.’

“So I’m, like, ‘Well, then, what the f–k is going on?’ And I go out and I’m running around with a baseball bat in my robe.

“And it turns out it’s Britney Spears’ house is like, 300 yards from mine. So now I have to move.”

Wow, George is pretty clever. I would have never thought of using code words to see if there was someone in the house. I probably would have been hiding in the closet having already wet myself. Then when the cops arrived I would claim that I had been locked in there. What’s that on my pants? Apple Juice, I’ll say. It’s Apple Juice.