Straight to DVD, Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel is a failure

Hope you weren't planning on seeing Jessica Biel's newest film -- officially called "Powder Blue" but will forever be known as "That movie where Jessica Biel shows her tits" -- in the theatre. It's going straight to DVD. Which is probably for the best. Can you imagine how creepy opening night would have been? You'd have 100 guys in sunglasses and loose sweatpants climbing over each other in an attempt to get a seat in the very back of the theatre. From the New York Post:

Jessica Biel -- one of the sexiest, most beautiful women in the world -- has had bad luck with her latest movies, and hasn't been seen on the big screen since "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" two years ago. Not even scenes of Biel dancing topless as a stripper in "Powder" -- co-starring Ray Liotta, Kris Kristofferson, Forest Whitaker and Lisa Kudrow -- could get the somber drama a theatrical release. "Powder" is going straight to DVD in June.

Let's be honest. With most of her talent located primarily in her ass, is anyone really surprised that this is where Jessica's career has ended up? Besides, most of her fans aren't interested in seeing her star in a big-budget movie that has a wide theatrical release. They'd rather see her star in a low-budget "art film" that results in a hand release.

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